One Thing Less
Usually Eid celebrations for my family were a bit quiet. We have a small family. It's just us. We don't have those extended families. Just a few aunts and uncles and cousins. We started the day with prayers at the surau, then have breakfast and my papa's customary speech. Then my older brothers and their families will go their separate ways visiting their wives' families. So after that, usually those left at home - my parents, my little brother and me.
This year, I felt a bit different when I was in the surau, waiting for prayers. I always went to these Eid prayers with my mama. Mama always seated beside me. It used to be my mama, my Tok (grandma) and me. Since my Tok passed away about 10 years back, it was just me and mama (sometimes my sisters in law joined). But not this year and not last year. Beside me this year was my papa's eldest sister which we called "Mak" (which is one of the calling name for "mother". I didn't go to the prayers last year.
Mama suffered stroke last year, on the first day of Ramadhan. I didn't go to the prayers last year because I have to take care of things at home. My Mama is well, her health is getting better but the stroke made her movements a bit restricted. She needs a chair or bench to pray and also it would be hard for her to walk through a lot of people in the surau. I asked her to join for prayers, told her I'll take her but she didn't want to go, she said it would be hard and she didn't want to burden people. Told her it would be alright, but she didn't want to go.
While waiting for the prayers to start, I had tears in my eyes when I thought about my Mama not sitting beside me at the surau. I know I still have her and thankful to Allah for that, but it made me sad because there is one thing less of the things that I used to do with Mama. I know there are other things to do but this one is pretty special to my heart. It also made me realised that I need to appreciate her more. Reached home, I straight away hugged her and said I love you. I can't imagine my life without you, Mama. :~(
This year, I felt a bit different when I was in the surau, waiting for prayers. I always went to these Eid prayers with my mama. Mama always seated beside me. It used to be my mama, my Tok (grandma) and me. Since my Tok passed away about 10 years back, it was just me and mama (sometimes my sisters in law joined). But not this year and not last year. Beside me this year was my papa's eldest sister which we called "Mak" (which is one of the calling name for "mother". I didn't go to the prayers last year.
Mama suffered stroke last year, on the first day of Ramadhan. I didn't go to the prayers last year because I have to take care of things at home. My Mama is well, her health is getting better but the stroke made her movements a bit restricted. She needs a chair or bench to pray and also it would be hard for her to walk through a lot of people in the surau. I asked her to join for prayers, told her I'll take her but she didn't want to go, she said it would be hard and she didn't want to burden people. Told her it would be alright, but she didn't want to go.
While waiting for the prayers to start, I had tears in my eyes when I thought about my Mama not sitting beside me at the surau. I know I still have her and thankful to Allah for that, but it made me sad because there is one thing less of the things that I used to do with Mama. I know there are other things to do but this one is pretty special to my heart. It also made me realised that I need to appreciate her more. Reached home, I straight away hugged her and said I love you. I can't imagine my life without you, Mama. :~(
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